Meet Scratchy Bunny
Timmy received Scratchy Bunny for his 1st Easter, at 5 months of age. Timmy hasn't been seperated from Scratchy Bunny over the past almost 6 years. He sleeps with him and plays with him during the day. Scratchy Bunny has been with Timmy during every hospitalization and sleep study. Scratchy Bunny is made from a rough, coarse material. I believe this is one reason that Timmy loves Scratchy Bunny so. Over the past almost 6 years, Scratchy Bunny has had to undergo many repair surgeries to help keep him in tact.
Tonight Timmy and Daddy are at UNC for a sleep study. Dr. Z (ENT) requested the sleep study to make sure that Timmy is doing well at night with his breathing, before he takes Timmy into surgery in early April to surgerically close Timmy's trach stoma.
This time Scratchy Bunny did not go along. This was my decision. I now feel so terribly bad, because I feel like I have let Timmy down by having him to leave his favorite toy which has always been with him behind. I know that I'm the only one who feels bad and is upset that Scratchy Bunny isn't with Timmy. Timmy has other stuffed toys which he likes just as much as Scratchy Bunny. He has a soft giraffe and 2 GUND stuffed toys, a tiger and a monkey. Both the tiger and monkey are made from a coarse, rough material, but not the same as Scratchy Bunny.
Timmy took Melman, his giraffe along with him tonight for the sleep study. When Daddy called, he said that Timmy was all tucked in with Melman and on his way to dreamland.
So why do I feel so terribly bad? Maybe it is because I'm scared to pack Scratchy Bunny away. I'm afraid that if Scratchy is packed away I'm also putting away apart of Timmy's past in which has been physically and emotionally difficult at times, but yet precious and rewarding. I fear that if I do give in and pack Scratchy Bunny away, I'm admiting that I'm willing to let my little boy grow up. That I'm mentally and emotionally ready to completely put the past behind and dive head first into a future with Timmy which will most likely be filled with uncertainities and no true direction. Scratchy hasn't only been Timmy's security toy, but it seems that he has been mine as well.
So will I give in and pack Scratch away? Right now I'm too upset to answer. Maybe tomorrow or one day in the near future both Timmy and I will together agree and put Scratchy away. But for now Scratchy is awaiting Timmy's return laying on Timmy's pillow.
After dinner and a bath, Emily and I spent some much needed and deserved quality time together. We read Emily's school library book, which Emily really enjoyed.
The book is about a little boy who made a sail boat from a pencil, a cork and some cloth. The boy took his boat to the lake one day to play. He held tightly to a string which was attached to his boat. A storm came up and he accidently let the string go. The storm took the sail boat far out onto the lake. Where the small sail boat encountered many different larger boats. A fishing boat came along and helped the small sail boat back to shore, where it was reunited with the boy. The samll sail boat and the boy both were so excited to once again be back together.
After reading the book, we cuddled and rocked while watching what seemed like a zillion episodes of SpongeBob! That is one CRAZY cartoon. Emily went to bed without any fussing or excuses for needing to get up.
The perfect endong to a beautifully warm day!